–by Adyashanti (Feb 22, 2013)
Spiritual people often want unconditional support and understanding from their friends, family, and mates, but all too often seem blind to their own shortcomings when it comes to the amount of unconditional support and understanding that they give to others. I have seen many spiritual people become obsessed with how unspiritual others are and assume an arrogant and superior attitude while completely missing the fact that they themselves are not nearly as spiritually enlightened as they would like to think they are.
Enlightenment can be measured by how compassionately and wisely you interact with others—with all others, not just those who support you in the way that you want. How you interact with those who do not support you shows how enlightened you really are. As long as you perceive that anyone is holding you back, you have not taken full responsibility for your own liberation.
Liberation means that you stand free of making demands on others and life to make you happy. When you discover yourself to be nothing but Freedom, you stop setting up conditions and requirements that need to be satisfied in order for you to be happy. It is in the absolute surrender of all conditions and requirements that Liberation is discovered to be who and what you are. Then the love and wisdom that flows out of you has a liberating effect on others. The biggest challenge for most spiritual seekers is to surrender their self importance, and see the emptiness of their own personal story. It is your personal story that you need to awaken from in order to be free.
To give up being either ignorant or enlightened is the mark of liberation and allows you to treat others as your Self. What I am describing is the birth of true Love. […]
Love comes from a place of seeing that the truth seems to be manifested and expressed through a human personality for the sake of the evolution of the whole. The love I’m speaking of comes out of the revelation that you are the whole. The awakening of this love makes whatever is happening in oneself unimportant. For such a person self-concern has dropped out of the center of awareness. Enlightenment is not only the experience of transcending the me; it’s also a condition where the me, as a separate somebody, doesn’t hold importance anymore. It doesn’t always start out this absolute, but this is the direction non-personal love pushes you toward. Ultimately one is either going to “yes” to that movement of love which is completely non-personal, or to say “no.”
Q: Aren’t there starts and stops to that? And a continual choice to say “yes?”
A: The whole idea is to get to the point where it is no longer a minute-to-minute choice. Of course it may be a continual minute-to-minute choice, but the problem is that choosing takes effort. It’s always a decision; at each moment you’re never sure which way you’re going to go. However, there can, and must, come a point when one simply says “yes.” Period. You know inside, that choice has been made because choice falls away. It ultimately comes down to a black and whiteness that most people have a great amount of difficulty with. Whatever is left of the me always seeks the gray areas. As long as we’re seeking gray areas, it means we haven’t really come to a reckoning inside with the love which seeks only itself.
If most human beings truly realized the impact that they have on the whole, they’d be crushed by the realization of it. But what I’m talking about is being thrilled by it. All you have to do is say “yes.” You’ll never know what it means to say “yes,” but you do it anyway. Freedom and love arise when you die into the unknown mystery of being.